Last Years Top 6 - Where are they now?

Liverpool 

Liverpool have lost their bite, their cutting edge and they are now the footballing equivalent of an old lady who has lost her dentures. They may appear to be sweet and kind but stick around long enough and they’ll begin droning on about the past, quicker than you can say “Snappy Suarez”. Liverpool are basically suffering from Bale-Syndrome- the inevitable demise of any lesser football team and their footballing aspirations following the sale of a World Class player. Their PL record stands at 4-2-3 and much like City their Champions League form has been hilarious. The Mario Balotelli show has been widely received to critical acclaim and for those of you who have yet to tune in, don’t worry you haven’t missed any goals. 

Can the fans that wanted Mario please stand up? Take a bow guys. Though in defence of you guys I will say that I am a huge fan of Mario Balotelli. For basically the same reason that I adore Zlatan, they are both immensely funny/crazy individuals (footballing ability aside). I mean Zlatan refers to Zlatan in the third person and he made Hart look a fool – how can you not love the guy? Fan-girling over and back to Mario, I’m glad he is back in the Premier League and equally glad he isn’t at Arsenal, for obvious reasons - squad harmony, the inability to score etc etc. Though I will admit that I am anxiously waiting for the inevitable news story to break and I simply can’t wait for the Mad Mario to do something crazy. 

Back to football (again), gosh I really do get side-tracked but moving swiftly on. Following the sale of Chomper Liverpool are struggling to find their fluidity. They are placing a lot of their hopes on Sterling and almost expecting him to single-handledly fill the void, in lieu of an absent Sturridge. Despite spending an inordinate amount of money their signings have yet to have a massive impact and the pick of the bunch at the moment seems to be Lallana and Moreno. Though if someone told you that they had just spent 100 million to revamp their squad you would probably laugh and rightly so.

To summarise I’d say that last season Liverpool had arguably the best player in the league, no European Football and belief. Right now they have European Football and that’s about it. Realistically they have a 1/3 chance of getting out of their CL group (against Basel and Ludo Razgd – hard group, right?) but I can’t see them getting much further than that. In honesty I believe that the extent of Liverpool’s aspirations this season are finishing 4^th and a good cup run, with the squad they have I can’t see them doing much better.

Less Crazy Sim Prediction - I’ll predict Liverpool to finish 5^th, this is probably one of the few predictions that I have made which is actually realistic.

Manchester United

Manchester United actually scare me. A really weird thing to say, I know but let me explain myself. Let’s face it, if you made it this far you may as well keep reading. Let’s rewind time for a second and go back to the summer transfer window. United spent in excess of £150 million, they restructured their squad with 14 players leaving (including loans) and with 6 players coming in - Angel Di Maria, Falcao, Daley Blind, Ander Herrera, Marcos Rojo and Luke Shaw. Now the thing that concerns me is that much like Liverpool last season, United’s squad is filled with attacking threat and despite their obvious frailties in defence (*cough* MK Dons *cough*) their sole focus is the premier league. 

The reason this worries me, is that they look like a side that is improving and they do strike me as somewhat of an unknown quality. I really hope I am just being delusional and given the initial set of fixtures that United have had, for them to currently be 8^th is abysmal. Looking at their next set of games they are on course for a significantly tougher test, so I suppose we will have a better idea of what United can do after that. 

Kinda Crazy Sim Prediction - I’ll predict Manchester United to finish 4^th, my gut feeling is that they will be able to leap-frog Liverpool if only because they are competing on less fronts. I do also appreciate that it is risky predicting a team other than Arsenal to finish 4^th but I just can’t see them finishing 4^th this season – though I always think that and I’m always wrong.

Spurs

In case you hadn’t realised by now, except for Arsenal who I am saving for last (because they are the best) I have addressed the other teams in order of their current position in the Premier League Table. Now the really fun thing with Spurs is that at the moment (and this always puts me in a ridiculously good mood) is that they are currently sitting in the bottom half of the PL table. What this means (to me at least) is when the BBC or Sky show the table they usually show it two halves (top and bottom) and the nonsensical degree of satisfaction I get when I see them on the “bottom half” is simply beautiful. Specifically that moment when they transition between the top and bottom, usually with the phrase “let’s check out the relegation battle” – absolutely sublime. I don’t say it enough, but thank you Spurs you’re always there to cheer me up. (I do also adore how relevant the phrase “Mind the Gap” always seems to be),

So how has Spurs’ season been? Pretty Shit, sums it up rather aptly. Though I’ll say a few more words about them, they could use the publicity. Lamela scored a nice rabona and Lloris is still by far their best player.  And the answer to the question – “Why did Pochettino leave Southampton for a lesser side?” – remains unanswered, which is rather unsatisfactory to all interested parties.

Super Realistic Sim Prediction - I’ll predict Spurs to finish 18^th, after a close fought relegation battle with Leicester City I believe that they will ultimately come out 2^nd best. Following their relegation, the club will begin its descent down a truly downward spiral. My best guess is that within 10 years they will be playing alongside the Barbican Pirates FC, come on ye Pirates!