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Jokman's Corner

Scottish Arsenal fan, suffering from an over-estimation of wit. Wispa Gold saviour. Fanshare. Aspiring commentator.

The Arsenal Fan - a diverse species....

Good evening, welcome to BBC 8, the home of inane drivel.  Later, at 9:30pm we have a treat for you as Piers Morgan goes to Papua New Guinea and serves himself up as dinner to the cannibalistic locals, but now we present to you a nature documentary of a different kind.......

On this beautiful planet we live in, amongst the countless groups, gaggles, prides and murders of species that exist, the general rule of thumb is this; the group comes first.  Hunt and provide for the rest.  Specified roles, hunter, babysitter, watcher. Tonight, however, I will present to you a collective that offers the finger to Mother Natures rules, that relish the battles and wars that are produced from being a member of this genus. Tonight, I will bring to you The Arsenal Fan.

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To Be Openly Gay In Football Takes Balls

Alarm blares it's monstrous melody, forcing him to face 7am head on. He looks over to his partner who is miraculously still ensconced in dreams. He allows himself a few seconds to view his beloved in slumber, then his rigid discipline kicks him out of his dream state and reminds him firmly that training comes first. He clambers out of bed and into the en-suite. Shower turned on, the torrent of hot water serves not only to clean but revitalise. The finest of cleaning products produce a good lather but the scent of jasmine and coconut remind him of last summer in the Maldives. Shower off, then grab a towel off the rack.

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Arsenal's Little General Is Back

Many reasons have been given for our resurgent form and subsequent return to the pinnacle of the Premiership. I personally have written of a few. The messianic presence of The Umlauted One, our titanic back unit which have considered a meagre amount ( if it weren't for the City game and some shocking decisions it would've been less ) have also been cited as Lego bricks which have culminated in the most epic Lego structure in recent memory. There is another reason however. One which sloped off to the historic lands of Italy under a cloud of questions and acerbic opinion from fans, only to return to a wall of doubt and challenges. Only a certain type of man could return from whence he came, face criticism head on and snarl equally hostile, letting his passion and skill quash the critique and morph it into adulation. This man, Gooners, is Mathieu Flamini.

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