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Arsenal #ITK

Twitter’s a funny place. This is especially true when it comes to Arsenal fans. On Saturday, I highlighted a few of the problems with Arsenal supporters on the internet, and seeked to remedy them by setting a couple of rules. However, one thing that I failed to address (although I felt that Rule 4 covered this one too) is the supposed “ITKs” that claim to have “exclusive” information because they have a mate who has a sister who has a husband who has a mother who has a dog who has a dog friend who has another dog friend who is enemies with a cat who ate a pigeon who has a buddy that crapped on someone’s head who was a taxi driver who has a cousin who has a friend who once saw Ivan Gazidis getting lunch at KFC.

Now, you have to understand. It’s not that I don’t like these people. In fact, I follow many of them. However, this is purely for entertainment purposes. They’re seriously funny.

The whole thing is genuinely incredible; firstly in that people actually believe these accounts, and secondly that these accounts have nothing better to do than make up idiotic rumours that usually make absolutely zero sense. Of course, occasionally, they get one right. We all know this, because they post screenshots of their claim coming before anyone else reported it every damn day for the next five years.

And now that the general consensus is that Alexis Sanchez is in some way linked with Arsenal, these people who have such amazing connections are blessing us with their valued information that weirdly is totally different depending on who you ask. I think it's fantastic we're signing a player that can physically be in several places at once. Apparently, he's having his medical at London Colney as I write, as well as being on holiday, as well as still being in Spain, as well as holding up an Arsenal shirt, having completed his move, as well as signing for Juventus. Thanks Twitter!

Unfortunately, according to my sources, they are all wrong. You see, I, in fact, have an incredibly strong connection to Arsenal that I can't tell you about, because he wishes to remain unknown at this time. Yeah. That sounds good.

My resources in Spain are telling me that Alexis is coming. Don't shoot the messenger, but what I'm told is that he wanted to watch the Tour de France roll through London. His agent told him the wrong dates, and he was left taking selfies with some blokes just riding to work. He was last spotted eating at Burger King, trying to strike a deal with the employees that would see him getting five Whoppers for the price of a small Fanta. My source tells me that an agreement is close, it's now down to the chips. #ITK

In all seriousness though, it does seem like deals for Sanchez and Debuchy are in the works and probably more advanced than I give them credit for. Both of these guys would do the job, and I would certainly be pleased if they both go through.

In my eyes, we would still need a holding midfielder, a proper striker to give Giroud direct competition, a goalkeeper (or two), and probably a centre back (or two if our captain listens to the little boy inside of him). I don't like getting specific and naming certain players that we "need," because there are many players that will fit the bill.

Besides, I don't need to have an idea of exactly who we should sign, and neither do you. Wenger has one of the best football knowledges in the world, so maybe you should consider that the shortlist of players that you made for him on Twitter probably won't be taken into account by our club when buying. Sorry to let you down.

Apologies for the lack of any real opinion in this one. Nothing new has really happened since last time, but I hope that the next time I write to you, on Thursday, there will be something exciting.

That isn't a #ITK hint by the way. I have absolutely no clue whether they will reveal a player along with the kit. Although it would be lovely.

Tell us what you think! If you agree, or have a different view, please leave a comment in the comments section or why not write a response or your own article on YouWrite?

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Tags: Arsenal, Arsenal FC, Arsenal ITK, ITK, Debuchy, Arsenal Football Club, Sanchez, Alexis Sanchez, Mathieu Debuchy

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