Battle of the World Cup Pundits....
LETS GET RRRREEEAAADY TOOOO RRRRRRRUUUUUUMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLLEEEEE!!!!
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IN OUR RED CORNER, COMING ALL THE WAY FROM MANCHESTER ENGERLUND, STOKE, GIVE IT UP FOR THIS ARSENAL LEGEND, THE SCOURGE OF THE BBC, LEEEEEEE DIIIIIXXXXOOOOOOONNNN!!!!
IN OUR BLUE CORNER, EMINATING FROM THE FRIGID NORTH OF NEWCASTLE, THE ENGERLUND GOAL-HERO, THE MAN WHO LET HIS COUNTRY TAKE HIS HAIR, ALAN - 'IM BETTER THAN THE OTHER ALAN', SSSSHHHHHHEEEEAAARRRRRRRRRREEEEERRRR!!!!!!
It is quite easy to be overtly cruel on Shearer, especially faced with Dixon, who is beloved by all who are synonymous with the Cannon. I will caveat in though, that I personally think that Shearer has upped his mojo somewhat. On MOTD, I think he was dragged down by the drudge of Hansen. He isn't quite the beautiful butterfly who has been set free of the manacles of the morose, but he is being a tad more opinionated, which will help soothe the splinters in his arse from the season passed. He still loves a cliche but his knowledge isn't bad. Loses points when attempting 'BANTZ'.
Dicko is undoubtedly missed by the BBC. Why on earth he was shipped out is beyond me. He speaks sense, knows the technical side but can portray it without losing the untrained viewer, he has a lovely airy manner in front of camera and doesn't look out of place alongside Cannavaro and Paddy. That's because he IS a legend in his own right. Loses points on wardrobe selection as he dresses very M&S.
Verdict - Dixon with a TKO 
Next up....
IN THE WHITE CORNER, WEIGHING IN AT AN EVER-INCREASING 350 POUNDS, THE FORMER POSTER BOY OF ENGLISH FOOTBALL, TURNED FAILED FOOTBALL MANAGER, THROW YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR GLENN, 'THE FAITH HEALER', HOOOOOODDDDDDDDLLLLLEEEE!!!
IN THE ORANJE CORNER, COMPRISING COMPLETELY OF RIGID MUSCLE, A LEGEND OF THE GAME, A PROMISING MANAGER CUT SHORT BY A BUMBLING BOARD AT MILAN, GIVE IT UP, FOR CLARENCE, 'OLE DOUBLE-THIGHS', SEEEEEEEDDDDDDOOOOOORRRRRFFFFFF!!!!
It is hard to judge this. I've heard nuggets of wisdom from Hoddle and I happen to think his England team was the best in the last 15 years, but the photo showing his male 'camel-toe' has horrified me so much that whenever I look at him, I see his scrunched up junk housed by chinos. A shame as he has the knowledge and has an easy style in front of camera, but does enjoy a sit on the fence.
Clarence is still involved with the present day game, which gives him a distinct advantage. He has sampled football in many countries and his English is accomplished. Smiles A LOT, if English were his first language then he would be a shoo-in, but sometimes, for all his knowledge, his occasional English faux-pas and over-reliance on technical talk can have viewers losing their attention.
Verdict - Seedorf on the judges cards, thanks to a lack of male camel-toe.
More pundit battles this way....
