This scroll is largely concerned with Gooners, and from these words a reader may learn much about their character and a little about their history. Many here may wish to learn more about these remarkable people from the outset, and thus I will point to some excellent references in closing.
The Fellowship of the Arse
Seek for the Sword that was broken: In Highbury it dwells;
There shall be counsels taken, Stronger than Morgul-spells.
There shall be shown a token, That dawn is near at hand,
For Wenger's Bane has awoken, And Gooners forth shall stand.
It should come as no surprise to any of you that the wizard Mithrandir, old enough to be distinctly discerning, has wed his allegiances to The Arsenal.
Three hundred lives of men he has walked this Earth. He is a servant of the Sacred Fire; wielder of the flame of Highbury.
He likes less than half of you half as much as you deserve.
He is Gandalf the Red, and he comes back to you now at the turning of the tide.
The world is changing. I feel it on the internet. I smell it in the air. The time has now come where purse-strings will decide the fate of us all.
We must now face the long dark of the transfer window. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than Fairthorne in the deep places of Twitter. It is a three-month journey to the other side. Let us hope that our dealings may go unnoticed.
Rise as one, Gooners near and far! For this is the day of battle, and we have little respite granted to us before the Toon-zog horde beckons in their filthy keep. This campaign has taken our fellowship through many a twist and winding turn, yet through shadow and flame we have emerged, destiny in hand, ready to claim Mount Forthplace.